A horrifying episode occured in Cuba when I witnessed Scott sleeping with his eyes wide open.
It was our first night there, and I was feeling sick. We fell asleep with the TV and all the lights on. I woke up about an hour later and turned around to find my husband staring right back at me....only...not. His head was tilted towards the ceiling, mouth half open (thankfully no trickle of blood coming out of it, although that would have completed the scene), and eyes WIDE OPEN. He was definitely sleeping though, because when I jolted him into consciousness there was a significant change in those eyeballs; they snapped from a vegetative glaze to a pair of lenses groggily registering visual stimuli.
"Oh my god! You were sleeping with your eyes wide open!"
"No I wasn't."
"Yes you were. That was so creepy! I thought you were dead! Do you see out of them when you do that? You probably do this every night and I don't notice because it's dark!"
"Well my eyes are pretty dry when I wake up in the morning...."
Good glory. And don't for a second think that I am exaggerating the openness factor. These puppies were not halfway there. There were no eyelids to speak of.
Then last night, I was already in bed but had to answer my stomache's cries to feed it. I brought my bagel and cream cheese back to the bedroom and commented on how I think it's great that we frequently leave our deadliest kitchen knives in plain sight on the cutting board, just in case the maniac who breaks in forgets his weapon in his brown van. This was the perfect justification for Scott to pipe in about his sleeping habits (oh god, of which there are so many weird ones, I cannot possibly describe them all in one entry).
"Well now you know why I sleep with my eyes open. I'm always on alert."
Yah. Well maybe we could just use a drawer and he could get some real shut-eye. But no, this way makes much more sense. While we're at it, we might as well turn on all the burners on the stove in the morning, and I'll run home from work every 10 minutes to make sure the place isn't torched.